Practice Schmactice

I have practiced practically everyday of my life since I was 4 years old. There is good practice-where I manage what I have to do and efficiently do it (in 45 min.-1.5 hrs.) and bad practice-where I would count the endless hours (3-5 hrs. growing up) and actually move the handles of the clock to show my mom, look! Amazing! Wow, look at the time! I am done!  Since I had my second daughter, I was thinking about practicing and how I think of it everyday. No matter where I am in the world, or what I am doing in the day, there’s always a moment when I think, ‘I’ve got to practice’ or ‘When the hell will I get to practice’ or scarily remember some part of the previous night’s nightmare of having to go on stage without any rehearsal or warm-up and perform the last movement of the Sibelius Concerto.

Have I gotten worse as I’ve gotten older? How do I remember so much when practicing so little?  Will I ever feel ‘practiced’ enough? Towards the end of the last pregnancy or dog days of pregnancy, I had zero energy to practice and would hit my belly with every bow stroke. I missed feeling like I was in shape and ready to play a 2 hour recital yet I also really needed a break. It’s amazing how refreshed one can feel when taking a break from it-one week is good, 2 weeks away I become lethargic. Any longer, and I can’t remember how string crossings work…..

Every time I pick up the bow, I feel a little different, a little older and maybe just a little wiser. It’s my soul connector in a way. It gives me time to reflect and throw myself into a challenge I have to figure out immediately. Putting so many pieces together like an endless puzzle or a super gnarly police investigation.
Egad….OK…..it’s time to go practice!

The author was about 5 or 6 years old when this picture was taken……